Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Usually I'm excited around this time of year. Classes are out, the sun is shining and the pool is calling my name. Usually. But not this time around. Instead I find myself drenched in a puddle of my own nervous sweat. And believe me, the unpleasantness that goes along with this stretches far beyond the obvious physical discomfort.
The beginning of summer means the beginning of a long haul of responsibility. With only one semester to go, I am starting to realize all of the things that go along with graduating. The thought of building a career seems incredibly frightening right now. Thus far, I've delayed actually developing any kind of plan. I don't have the answers. I'm nowhere near being prepared to be on my own. There are so many things to consider. What if I don't get a job right away? What will I do about insurance? Where am I going to live? The amount of pressure I'm feeling is insane. I'm not even sure I know what I want to do specifically.
This minor freak-out has led me to a major realization. It's finally time for me to grow up. I need to learn to make decisions and figure things out for myself. I can't just coast along anymore. I have to make things happen. Hopefully it's not too late.